Time to Move South

The official announcement was more like an excited punctuation to a sentence all ready started. We would move. The feeling .. the signs ... had been there for all to read and see. Now we simply knew the exact day.

I spoke to the girl chained to the floor of my wagon today. I am sure she believes I would have taken her back to her caravan simply for the choosing. I am sure she believes I meant what I said. She still chose to stay with the Tuchuk .. with me. She chose to be a slave rather than have the entire world at her feet. And she is young enough to believe that was still a possibility.. yet even in her belief she gave it up. She gave up all of her dreams .. even though they were basic sketches. Still she set them aside .. because she did not wish to leave me. Her fat children .. her big table with friends and hungry travelers spread out like an extended family.

Despite my best efforts I have not been able to convince her that I am not her hero. That I am not her savior. That I am no better than the dread Vaci she was and is so afraid of. Once more I am faced with her ability to see the good despite bad. Is it something she does naturally? Some gift? Or is it simply a choice .. more practiced than the rest of us.

I sat on the edge of my platform .. speaking to her ... I noticed small carvings in the step of my wagon. Tiny stars and butterflies. How .. odd. I wonder if she did this? And if so why? I traced a couple of them with the rough pad of my finger.

Asria came by with Lei .. she looks lost. I hope introducing her to the First wagons will help .. new friends ... new tasks and ideas to keep her company and fill in some of the empty spaces.

I could not stay .. now that the date had been set .. the omens read ... the precise moment for our return settled on ... there was much to finalize. It was good to know the best leather workers .. getting your repair requests in soon assured you more time to do other things. It was good to have favors owed .. there were more hands with the herd and the wagon bosk.

I left Catch still chained the floor of my wagon. Dee will see to the things she needs with a few direct commands that will assure my own touch.

I feel the rush of energy. The lifting of my chin and the inhale that expands my chest. I feel the contradiction of the cold air and the warmth of the Central Fire on my scars. I see the wakening of the smallest of creatures as they stir to new life. Is this what the restlessness is about? Is this the whisper I hear over my shoulder vying for my attention? Is this the sleepless nights .. the over active days? This burn that I can not find solace from?

Or is it something else.