Asria .. Widow of Trayu

How many men have I seen fall to lance .. sword ... arrow? How much blood have I watched soak back into the grass?

Countless.

How much blood have I myself been responsible for?

Too much.

There is no stanching that flow .. there is no dam to that tide. There is always more. It never ends.

I found Asria widow of Trayu at the stream today. I offered my hands to her. I know it was only her and Trayu. Circumstance and the Sky having taken all from both .. but each other. Little Lei slept at her side. I was not close to Trayu .. he was a cousin of Pacu ... we have ridden together ... hunted together. There are things I know .. knew about him ... but we were not what you would consider close.

Between me and Trayu's other friends we will see the muscle work is done .. the hard things are taken care of. It will not help Asria to feel better .. it will simply help her to survive. I have no words to help her feel better. I wish I did .. I wish I knew those words existed I might try harder to find them. But I am not sure that they do.

Asria's sorrow touches me. She is too young .. too beautiful to know this kind of loss. But she is Tuchuk .. she will move forward or she will fade from us. There is only the strong .. there is only to keep reaching for the Sky. It is not enough to just be alive .. you must win. To be alive and lose is worse than death .. it is not enough.

She asked me to remember the battle .. the deaths. I am not sure I want to. Not with what I do remember. What do I tell her? What if I remember that Trayu died as Pacu did .. at the hand of his Brother. It is better left to the mist of the barely remembered. I do not want to remember .. I would rather not know. Serge saved his own life .. saved my life by default. But I do not like Serge .. when the killing mood comes on him he knows no friend or foe .. there is simply to kill and be the last one standing. There is no recognition of a higher thought process in his eyes .. until it is all done. Perhaps he makes amends with himself by not remembering who died by his hands and who died by the enemies. I do not know. What I know is I was there .. I know. I remember. I will repay. It is not enough to kill. There must be a reckoning. I will act for the Sky if the Sky remains passive.

I am not passive.

I am Fonce of the Tuchuk.