The Price of Denial

I was speaking to Asria. My good shoulder had found a comfortable lean against the big wheel of my wagon. She was pinching at her clothes and I asked her if she was losing weight .. she assured me that no she was not. That her clothes were growing. I nodded and told her that was normal .. it was my experience that when women were very sad their clothes seemed to grow.

She asked me if we could talk about me .. instead.

huh

After staring at her for a good few moments I told her .. of course ... and I asked her what she wished to speak about.

She said anything .. which relieved me ... then told me that my friend had come by. I asked her .. what friend? She told me was Serge and any amusement lurking in my gaze died away. I asked her if he had been around to see how she was doing .. to check on her. She said yes .. that is why he had been there to let her know he was around to help with anything she or Lei needed and Asria thought perhaps Serge had expected to be asked to stay to eat.

My gaze was probably rather direct and my focus was on her expressions .. she told me she had not asked him to stay .. she hoped that I did not think she was rude for not doing such.

So I asked her directly .. if she wanted him around.

Her eyes widened and I think I offended her by speaking so plainly.

She stumbled over her words assuring me she did not have a desire for him to be there .. and that he was just being a nice guy... was he not?

I asked her if she wanted me to find out for her.

She said no .. that it was all nothing. That she was sure it was because he had been Pacu's friend and that he was my friend .. and were we not going to talk about me?

I told her .. yes but we started talking about Serge instead. I told her if she did not wish me to speak to him ... that I would leave it as it was.

She said fine .. and then informed me that she did not want to have to think about such things.

I told her she had to .. she was a single woman now. I told her she did not have to deal with it .. that I would ... but that she did have to think about it.

She told me she did not think anyone else should be thinking about it either. I smirked at her. She then tried to make a deal with me that she would think about it when my shoulder healed. She was smug .. thinking it was obviously going to take some time.

women

I told her she was going to think about it whenever I asked her about it or I was going to start thinking for her.

I figure she will enjoy that even less.

In the mean time I am going to have to actually have a talk with Serge .. seems he is making nice to the widows of our last adventure. I am not sure what his motives are .. I do not care. As long as I breath he will not touch either one of them.

As for Asria .. I know it is hard to think about these things and I will protect her from them as much as I can but .. she can not live in her safe denial forever. She can not pretend that Trayu is here .. I wish he was.

But it is not Trayu .. it is me ... and it is about time she got used to it.