A Pattern of Welcome

Since I returned with Catch .. she has made it a mission that I not return to my wagon to find it cold .. or unlit. Always there is a smoldering bit of fire in the copper bowl. A lamp lit and turned low .. placed behind a chest to form a welcome light of softness that will not strike the eye.

I am pleased with Catch. I am pleased with the progress she has made .. learning from Dee. Learning while I am too busy to teach a slave. Her real training will begin when we reach the Southern Grass. When I have a little time to devote to what is mine. Until then she will not serve around the Main Fires. I have no desire to subject her to sour faced women who can find no good in a slave. A well trained slave rarely pleases them let alone one that I have not had time with.

I have not seen or heard from pink. I would imagine she has found another man whom she serves .. sleeps with. It is not uncommon. If the man is serious about her he will ask me for her price. If not .. she will be around sooner or later I imagine.

Another thing I plan on doing when we reach the Southern Plains is spending some time with Mezoo. My first apprentice. I am pleased. I am pleased it is Mezoo .. it feels good to be connected this way to Pacu's child. It feels right ... it feels like I am doing something for him .. for his legacy. He would be very proud of her. It feels like I am doing something for Astar. For all the times she has taken care of me .. and still does. Mezoo will not learn the ways of other Spex. She will learn my ways. It does not mean the ways of other Spex are wrong. Just different. I have no desire to learn their ways .. I expect some respect for my ways. I rarely get it though .. most think I still need to learn something. What I need to learn has nothing to do with them .. or their ways. Nor is it anything that will keep me from teaching Mezoo of mine. It feels good to have someone interested in my ways. It must bolster my identity. It lends validation. If .. when I feel Mezoo has learned enough ... she wishes to study under others that will be up to her and the head of our Clan. At that point I would have no problem with it.

I find it is easy to think .. as I lay here on my furs. The indirect glow from the lamp does not annoy me. The bit of warmth neither makes me too hot nor leaves me too cool. I find myself dreaming .. not as a Spex ... but as a man who has so many ideas and so many things to do yet. So much future that I have not tasted. So much color that has yet to be painted.

Tonight I am thankful for the welcomed glow .. for the comfort of my wagon. For the comfort of my friends. Tonight .. I do not feel so alone.