Aria of Beauty

How many years have I chased a song .. a melody like a brightly colored moth through the forests of my experience. Sought to capture a brief moment when that splash of Beauty might meet the touch of my fingers and I could experience the rush of aria as it hit my system like a finely crafted drug. A drug designed for me specifically. Made to fit my heights and depths. To reach across all my horizons and invade my most dangerous borders. To taste and to create taste while adapting to my flavors.

Unafraid of the parched wasteland of the desert. Loving the intense contrasts offered there. Stable enough to maintain source and intent .. despite the missing directive. Willing to travel .. slip into the air current and visit other less known and even more dangerous areas of internal design.

Now that it rests here before my eyes I am afraid to touch it. Afraid to mar the perfect design painted upon the exquisite and delicate wings. Will it fade? Will it die? I would rather chase it than to be forever scarred by the knowledge that it was less than I hoped for. That it could not live up to my incense tainted prayers. That all my dreaming had been in vain.

My faith forsaken for lesser sins.

The decision weighs there in the air like a burden .. like a task left uncompleted. It disturbs my dreams and spills over inserting nagging splinters into the flesh of my days. Working deeper beneath my skin until I feel invaded and insane with the desire to cut them out .. but still unwilling to give in to the manipulations of it all.

The chase grown still .. the desire frozen. Gelid need for something .. anything to warm the edges and give me direction. Promise me something .. anything. Forgive me all .. immunity granted for this one act.

There is no answer .. no whisper tips the balance which still hovers like a virgin's held breath ... drawn in at the final moment before she is forever changed beyond nature's ability to reverse. There is only the fluttering rhythm that marks life still there .. waiting ...

for me

.. to decide.

©2009 Written in response to .. Beauty