A Hand

I am starting to fill out my clothes. Not all there yet but they do not hang on me like they were there for a while. Looking less like a dried old piece of jerky and a little more like a man that has barely seen his twenty-fifth year.

I have found a lot to do around the wagons when I am not riding with the herd. Helping here and there .. small stuff ... getting my strength back. Usually stealing stuff out of the cooking pots while I am at it. Perks of being limited in what I can do.

I went back to check on Silken. Seems I am one of few allowed to talk to her and .. I know I would want to talk to someone ... in her place.

She is not looking so well. In fact I told her she looked like shit. Sort of jumped out of my mouth before I really thought about it. Usually I know better than to tell a woman anything of the sort even if it is true. Not wise. However .. wise or not ... in this case the truth outweighed my sense of good judgement. I also asked her what the hell she was wearing .. had some sort of fabric wrapped around her like she lived in the jungle .. like it was not the middle of winter. Then she told me Shi had cut her clothes off. Now I can understand that .. done it a few times myself. Good foreplay. Then she said it was because he wanted her to understand she was a woman.. not a man.

huh

I wondered if getting naked helped out any with that. Did not seem to me to be an issue of seeing a pussy and a pair of tits and going .. "well fuck I had no idea. Damn good thing you showed me that! Could have gotten really embarrassing. Glad we could clear that up."

But the mysterious ways of others is not mine to unravel so I left it pretty much alone. Well .. as alone as I leave anything. I gave her my tunic though .. just did not seem right standing there talking to a woman of the Tribe .. our En Healer and another man's mate dressed the way she was. Not right at all.

I told her about her kids. They all seemed healthy enough and pretty sure their mom was going to stomp the shit out whatever had her down. I would have agreed with them .. that is until I saw her. Like I said ...

I asked her a few questions .. getting where her head was at. Seemed in the same place it had been the last time I talked to her so I was relieved. Though I can see the edges crumbling a little she seems strong and able to handle things. Most things .. she needs a bath though. I was going to recommend it. In fact I probably did .. one of those speaking before wiser judgement caught up with my tongue.

We talked a little about Tarra. She was all wound up and uptight about her Sister. Asked me to do what I could. Now I am not sure what I can do but .. I gave her my word. I care about Tarra .. been through a lot with her I just had not really thought she would be needing anything from me that she could not get much better from those around her right now. But Silken got me to thinking and I said I would check in on her.

She started to panic a little when I was going to leave. I had to grab her face and get her to look at me before she focused enough that she listened to me tell her I would be back. I could not stay to watch her enter the wagon again. It was too hard. I have not even stayed in my own lately. Can not handle the walls .. the flap ... even though they are only made of leather. I do not think Silken can take it much longer. I hope her men get themselves together soon.

I am not up to my full potential yet .. but at least I can do a few things that seem to help people out.