Dream a Little Dream..With Me

Aod

I did not want to talk to Aod. It was like bringing it all back. Even if she did not ask me what happened .. I would remember what happened just by looking at her. I know she knew something before I left .. how much I had no idea ... how much I really did not want to know. Like talking to someone that knows too much about you and trying not to talk about what you both know you need to talk about.

I can not believe how alone I feel. Just the knowledge he was out there doing the same things I was .. holding up as much as I was for the Tribe ... responsible for as much as I was. I had no idea how much of a friend Pacu was. That sounds odd .. I knew he was my best friend .. but I had no idea how much his loss would effect me. I did not live in fear of it .. I did not think about what would happen if he died. I feel .. old. How odd is that? It makes no sense to me.

Upon realizing how much I was thinking about it all just in anticipation of speaking to Aod .. I figured it could get no worse and I might as well stop procrastinating about it and get it done.

Logic prevails.

I found Aod sitting on the steps of her wagon with a kaleidoscope of colored strings spread across her lap. I crouched down before her .. avoiding her eyes. She waited until I took a deep inhale and a slow exhale and met her gaze with my own black one.

"You kept your word. Thank you Fonce."

"It was not easy."

"It never is. How are the families?"

Nothing like getting right to it.

"I have stepped in with Pacu's .. giving up my command for now. There was so much to do and the boys .. they can not work together at all. Pei is too easy on his brother. Salu rages at the world."

"That is not like anyone else I know."

I gave one of those dry glances to Aod that I normally reserve for Oren.

"I am also looking after Trayu's .. Asria and Lei are all that is left. But it is bringing the two families together .. something that probably would not have happened without ... this. Doran had no mate or children and he had plenty of brothers to look after his parents. Very little for me to do there."

"You are not responsible."

My gaze narrowed in focus on her .. how much did she know? "No .. but I was there .. I survived ... there seems to be a certain responsibility in just .. knowledge."

I kept my tongue about which knowledge I meant.

She nodded and seemed pleased with my answer .. though I could not explain why she would be.

"Aunt visited Mezoo." I threw that sideways at her. Still angry about it.

"And Mezoo's decision?"

I grunted .. Aod was not biting on the bait. "She wishes to understand .. and learn."

"It is well .. she was chosen ... just as you were."

"She wishes to study under me."

"It is about time you started teaching. Your Elders would like to see our time and effort passed on .. someday. Have you used the weapons I gave you?" Her fingers .. wrinkled and gnarled with age and hard use were spinning the threads into designs of knots and intricate weaves.

"The flowers?" I shook my head. "No .. what good would they do me? You do not know the great dangers and beasts that roam there. You can not know .. not and give me flowers to combat them."

"Are you sure.. Fonce? Are you sure you wish to kill them? You keep trying to take your understanding of this world into that one. Things are not always as they seem there. You can not use this world to interpret that one. That one has all new rules."

"I know when something is trying to kill me .. Aod. That world or this one .. the threat does not seem to be so different."

"All right Fonce .. take this." She held up what she had been working on .. the threads all woven and tied and strung together into a multicolored web. "Bring me one of your dreams .. Fonce. Bring it to me and I will see for myself. And if I do this for you .. you will listen to me then?"

"Aod .. I can not do this. It is too dangerous. You have no idea ..."

She gave me one of those looks ... the kind of look that reminded me how young I was and how old she was and made it clear that I had a lot to learn and to remember who I was speaking to. One of those .. Elder ... looks.

"All right .. all right ... I will bring you a dream."