Weather Beaten

I was told.

So I had some idea of what I would find when I returned. But even I did not suspect the extent of the damage. That coupled with the ritualistic pyre building .. I had some clue to the depths of Karvek's emotional outburst. An outburst that spread itself all over the Harigga .. not just Seveya's face.

Now I have taken after a slave or two in my time. One in particular. I wish I could say it was for such a thing as love. I am not so noble a man. I can only say it was selfish on my part. A selfish feeling of hurt .. and desire to not be hurt anymore .. no matter the cost. A rage against someone getting too close to me ... and one part of me needing them closer and another part of me convinced they would never accept who I really was .. underneath it all. As lonely as it is .. there is a certain satisfaction in speaking your own destiny into existence. In assuring your own fate .. by pure strength of will. Setting out to prove yourself right .. and in the end you do. But it is a hallow satisfaction .. a satisfaction built only to comfort the predictability of it all and containing very little else but that alone.

And yet .. in the desert ... that alone can be enough.

It was late .. and yet I still woke Aod to come with me. I also took Ogedaii's Bitch ... with his permission of course. It would have been hard to untangle them without it. Between the three of us we patched up Seveya. The Bitch stitched her lip. I had seen .. suffered ... her talents for days and I had been right in my assumptions she was a skilled craftsman in her Clan .. what used to be her Clan. Her fingers are deft and much more capable than my own or Aod's gnarled hands .. Seveya should not scar. It was as much of a gift as I could provide.

It is a terrible thing to do to a man. To expect responsibility .. mature thinking ... and the right things from him .. and then to make him protective. Would I seek retribution from Karvek? No .. Seveya was for all intent and purpose a slave and a man has a right to visit whatever he wishes upon a slave. A woman held in possession of a collar. Had I a right to seek to be repaid for the damage and the favors I would owe for her care? Yes .. of course. But at this point it would be petty and I had no desire to step into the bizarre emotional state born of .. Sky only knew what kind of relationship Karvek had with his niece. At this point I had no idea what all Karvek was mourning .. but I wanted no part of it. And he certainly did not appear to be anywhere near capable of rational conversation about anything .. let alone Seveya.

I returned Ogedaii's Bitch after she was done patching .. Aod stayed with Seveya the rest of the night and left in the morning to return to her wagons. She told me I owed her a dream or two for the interrupted night of sleep. I watched her leave and I was reminded of my fortune in the people around me who care not only for me but for those I care of. There have been one or two here and there throughout the years .. but today I felt rich with it. Rich with those people who I count as family.

I brought my task to the steps of my wagon that morning .. waiting for Seveya to wake .. if she woke at all. Aod is no slouch as a Spex and neither am I .. and yet neither one of us could predict the future ... if the injuries to Seveya's head would ever allow her to return to consciousness. Ogedaii's bitch had done all she could for her body. It was now up to the things no Healer or Spex could ever manipulate.

The leather gave me something for my hands to do .. something to focus on. The feel of the leather through my fingers .. the rhythmic motions born now of years of repetitive touch ... was a tenuous rein on my temper. I thought about how much better I was at that since my return .. I wondered why. What had happened .. what events had laid themselves out through those three years that had taught me more control of my emotions. I did not feel so mature .. rather convinced it is just a series of walls .. taller ... stronger than the ones before. That would be much more like me .. rather than this ethereal maturity and wisdom conceived from a nothingness. What has not killed me has made me stronger. Less prone to the weakness of emotions.

However .. I am now protective. More so than I was before. And it is not the desire of Karvek to erase his niece's face from his sight that I can not understand. No .. I actually understand it very well .. though from me that inclination is usually born of a more sexually based possessiveness. I do not know how it works for Karvek .. I do not know the man. I am protective of her .. yes ... but it is a little more global than that. I am protective of my Harigga .. of my People .. of the plains. Madness is a weakness that knows no boundaries or rules. No one .. nothing ... is safe from it ... especially Karvek.

As I kept my hands busy with something constructive .. if asked I could not have told you which one was more weather beaten .. bruised and broken ..

.. Seveya ... or her uncle.