The Redemption of Ayguili

I am not a hero .. despite what Catch would like you to believe. I am not a savior or a man for the people. I am a lone sleen. I always have been. Can I be Ubar and do the job correctly? Of course .. but I will never excel at being "with" people. I have too many expectations and too much paranoia about their intentions. I prefer to be alone far too much. I do not have this burning desire to create and make things for them to do .. to occupy their time. In my opinion .. there is too much life to need something to do. There is too much to do ... to need something to do. I tend to expect people to be independent of me and to treat me as if I am an Oralu. Far enough up the chain of command that there are many steps to the problem solving process before you get to me. I do not tend to think .. in the way of solving everyone's problems and being there for everyone all the time. It tends to surprise me when someone bitches about me not being there for them. As if I have some obligation to hunt them down and treat them like they are five and manage their time and efforts. I expect people to be old enough to learn and grow much on their own .. with guidance ... not with direct interference. It is why I believe that Ayguili is better suited for Ubar than I am. He is .. more about the people. He is not a loner. He crafts and creates things for their minds to chew on. I can support him .. I can be his right hand ... if he lets me.

Now Ayguili had fallen from grace a little. But like I said I am no savior .. I can not redeem anyone. I am no hero. But Ayguili is .. and the hero needed a little redemption. I knew one person who could do that for him. She does it for me all the time. When I let her. She makes things right .. smoothes away the wrinkles and lets you see things without all the interference of other people. I warned Ayguili when he asked to speak to Seveya .. who he would have to deal with. Not because she was protective of me .. no Oren will likely kick my ass more often than not. She has never drawn lines between people .. she would never do that. No it was because she had all ready become a little protective of Seveya. She even protected her from me. But that is why I think so highly of Oren. I can depend on her.

I had no hesitation bringing Ayguili to Oren's fires. Yes Oren knew how angry I was .. but she always brushes that away ... always brings people together ... never apart. I knew she would have her own words for Ayguili .. she would never use my words or my thoughts. We were all like naughty children to her and she would never separate us ... she might thwack us upside the head a few times but her ultimate goal was for us to all sit together and get along ... preferably under her little nose.

I saw the satisfied little smile at the corner of her eyes when we arrived. I think she saw it as a bit of penance. We came to be absolved of our sins. Naughty boys. I wondered how Ayguili would handle her. I have never seen them together. I was not sure who to be protective of more.

She told Ayguili .. "Tal Ubar" .. I winced ... this did not sound good and I stepped a few paces away from Ayguili because Oren was leaning on her staff as if it were the best kaiila lance a warrior ever picked up. Then she pointed her bony finger at me and told me to sit on the furs. And I did just that. Damn .. I felt like I had been bad ... and I had not even done anything wrong this time.

Ayguili was looking like his tunic was too tight around his neck and I would have been highly amused by that if I was not feeling the same way myself. He got his voice under his tongue and spoke to her .. "If it is permissible, I would like to speak to the woman Seveya, Oren."

"And just what would you be liking to speak to her about Ubar?" There was the "Ubar" again.

I would have liked to enjoy this .. but I knew better. I had found myself in the same spot way too often and I knew even the slightest amount of entertainment on my part would shift the balance of karma and I would find myself there again even sooner. There are things you run around pointing your copper lance at the Sky for .. and then there are things ... you just know better. I kept my tongue between my teeth and sat on the furs like I had been told.

"Trust Oren. I need to speak to her about gaining trust back, for both of us."

"Well then that would be a good thing I'm thinkin.. then we can talk about you and I .. Ayguili". She used his name .. that was a good sign. Then she tapped her staff against the wagon steps and called out to Seveya .. "You come out child and talk to this man .. and if you don't like what he has to say you just march yourself right back in that wagon."

Seveya shoved herself through the flaps of the wagon .. she was looking even worse today .. the darks were lightening and turning a sickly greenish yellow and some of the swelling on her brow was sloughing with gravity down her face to give her eye a heavy lid .. the stitches giving her a bit of a sneer though her lip did look better. She crossed her arms and looked about as welcoming as a contrary old verr. Oren must have seen the look and understood it .. for she encouraged Seveya to hear the Ubar out because I would not have brought him there if I had not liked what he had to say. Which was true enough.

The two of them sat together on the wagon steps .. with Oren perched there with her staff like an avenging herlit .. and I was pleased enough to be sitting on the other side of the fires from them all.

Ayguili began in a calm tone .. "You have had a few very difficult days, and I have not helped. That is why I am here to speak with you." Oren humphed but it was obvious she wanted to hear what the Ubar had to say .. she was just reminding everyone that just because she was old .. it did not mean she was not alive and kicking and a part of things.

Ayguili raised his voice a little .. I think to include Oren. He made points with me for that. "Seveya, I am going to take responsibility for the mistakes that I made yesterday in talking to Fonce and your Uncle. But, we are all going to have to take responsibility for our own share of all of this. Agreed?"

WHACK

Startled the shit out of me. My gaze went to Oren .. their gazes went to Oren .. we all just stared at her not sure where that came from or why. Of course Ayguili was rubbing his shins at that point as well. Damn .. I knew that hurt.

"Oren, give me a break, I am trying to work on this." Even I was about ready to ask for a little sympathy for Ayguili and I was still not out of my mad yet. But damn.

Oren bent down so she was level with Ayguili's eyes while he sat on that step and she poked her bony gnarled finger into his chest to punctuate her words as she said them. "Young man .. who taught you how to apologize to a woman? Since when do you start an apology by telling her she had some responsibilityin it? Now if you are here to apologize to her you do just that and then we can talk about what you want her to do different in the future to help you not make so many mistakes."

Holy shit .. take lessons Fonce .. you are going to need this one sooner or later .. I can feel it. The problem with taking the women in your life to see Oren is .. they learn a lot.

Then Ayguili took those gnarled fingers in his big hand and kissed them .. asking Oren to hear him out .. and if that did not work ... I am Mezoo's jit monkey uncle. Oren fluffed and cooed and ruffled up like a dew bathing vulo and when she smacked his fingers it did not have a bit of the strength behind it that I knew still existed in those arms.

huh

Pay attention Fonce .. a lot to learn here.

Ayguili started talking to Seveya again .. about how if he had been a good guardian she would have known she could talk to him about these things. About how he would have told her he would never bargain her off to a warrior not from the First Fires and Seveya telling him he was there when her uncle spoke of it and he had not given any indication he gave a shit .. ect. ect. ect. That part was not so interesting to me.

Then Oren piped up with a question .. "Was Mezoo there?" The question almost sounded accusatory but Oren's eyes shown with love and pride and .. it was obvious she might chide Ayguili for his distraction .. but would have it no other way. Seveya remembered that yes .. Mezoo had been there. And Ayguili rubbed his temples trying to remember and apologized for being distracted sometimes and damn .. if both women did not forgive him ... just like that. Seveya with this blissful little glow in her eyes and a turn of the lips like I have not seen from her before and Oren patting him on the shoulder.. like anything could be excused from a man in love .. at least a man in love with her Mezoo. What the fuck?

women

So Ayguili went on about how much he wanted Seveya to be able to trust him .. about how he wanted her at the First Fires .. for all she was and all she could give them. It was much as he had spoken to me .. about how he could not see her on her knees to any man. How he had too much respect for who she was as a free woman. I had no idea he felt that way about Seveya .. I do not think Seveya knew how he felt either. Sometimes adversity makes people talk about how they feel .. and he had some rather high opinions and expectations for Seveya .. all very positive.

Seveya accepted his apology .. I still think it was for the mooning he and Mezoo have been doing and making all the women swoon with it.

grunt

However .. Seveya had one condition for this acceptance .. she wanted Ayguili to give me the respect I was due.

Well that wound me all up and I wanted to jump in and interrupt and tell her I could fight my own battles and protect myself and I did not need her making conditions for me with the Ubar ... but then I realized ... had I not been trying to replace her as a free woman? Had I not been fighting to replace her rights and opinions and her ability to give them freely no matter what I or any other man thought of them personally?

fuck

I hate it when I work against myself .. even when it is the right thing to do. It is just damned inconvenient.

So I shut my mouth and let her have her say .. speak her mind ... as I should. Probably a good thing for me .. my leg is still sore and I do not need a new bruise on my shin. And I want kudos for figuring all that out before the WHACK .. damn it.

Ayguili asked Oren if he could give Seveya a hug .. and Oren went to chewing on his ear about all the things Seveya needed now .. and that he better bring Mezoo around because Oren missed her terribly since he had moved her wagons forward. Ayguili promised her he would .. as he had things to say to her and Astar and to Pei also. Insert small self-satisfaction there. I will probably get a ZOT for it later.

Oren informed him that he knew exactly where to find them all. If Ay knows what is good for him he will show up soon .. I know that light in her eyes. Then Ayguili asked Oren what she would take in trade for Seveya. Oren told him to leave Seveya right where she was .. and both Ayguili and I spoke up that it was important for Seveya to return to the First Fires. Oren complained that the Ubar kept taking everyone away from her .. and who would help her with the verr... I was about to step in but Ayguili took it for me and did a job even I am impressed with. He told her that he had thousands of men under his command and if Oren needed verr herders .. she would have verr herders. I started to get a little worried .. wondered if this was my new assignment. Then Ayguili redeemed himself with me and suggested that Another One might be an excellent verr herder. I agreed .. anyone was an excellent verr herder as long as it was not me. So he said to Oren ..

"Oren, I have a young man, who needs the attention of one as wise as yourself. He is going through a difficult time, and perhaps you could ease that for him."

I watched Oren do a 180 and chuckled to myself.

women

"Well if he needs me.. I suppose."

"You have my eternal gratitude. I will have his mother send him over on the morrow, if that is agreeable with you." Kudos to Ayguili for that dance step and realizing what she was up to and going along with it. The man earned more respect from me in that moment than many .. many moments before.

"Yes Ayguili. But he better not be too much trouble." She was fluffing like a vulo and acting like she had when he kissed her fingers. And acting as if Ayguili was asking this huge favor of her and she was not sure she had the time or energy to do this for him.

"I promise, he will not be. He comes from good stock, and is basically very well behaved for a boy of........seven."

Oren tisked and said with an air of long suffering .. "And such an age that is too .. very well send the boy along and I will do what I can with him. But I promise you nothing .. mind you ... all ready seven ... could be too late."

I was staring wide eyed and probably open mouthed and I think Seveya was doing the same thing.

Ayguili actually looked contrite .. no I am serious .. he did. "I know, but if there is anyone that can help this boy, it would be you, Oren." Ayguili is going directly to hell .. but he will carry that old woman's heart right with him.

"I know .. I know .. now off with you all I have things to prepare and you have taken up a lot of an old woman's time all ready .. young people these days." And she bustled off .. just like that.

I have to consider myself very fortunate that I got to witness the redemption of Ayguili .. because if I had not seen it for myself ... I never would have believed it.

I hope I am around when Ayguili has to talk to Cana and explain this one.