A Gift

My mind has been heavy with the current situation of Seveya .. or Seveya's current situation ... whichever you prefer. Despite the fact I did not kill her or send her back to her guardian in shame .. despite the fact I accepted her and I am protecting her .. I still did not believe she belonged at the feet of men. And if she does .. I would like to know it. I had not been able to find Ayguili. I spent the night in the herd at the rider's fires. Plenty of witnesses to my time and energy. Still did not find him though.

I was sitting at the stream .. letting the weight of my thoughts slowly rise through my brain like bubbles through tar. My head hurt with the pressure of it. Yamka found me there. Yamka is not someone I wanted to speak to right then. Yamka has a way of seeing things that do not always align with me ..and how I see them. Seveya was one of those things I knew would not align well. But she had sought me out to give me a gift. A gift of a story blanket done in leather. Different squares meant different things .. different ways she saw me and how she interpreted not only me but what she thought I needed.

I commended her not only for the work she had put into it but for the thought she had obviously done to be able to give me such a gift. She did not nail me completely .. but if she had I would have recommended her for the Spex Clan instead of the Leather Workers. She proved to be observant and thoughtful .. and I appreciated the time and care she had put into it.

She seemed to want to talk about Seveya. But not directly enough that I felt any compunction to tell her everything. She spoke to me of what Seveya had told her the night they had spoken .. and I told Yamka strait up what she said were lies. She asked me why Seveya would lie .. I told her I had no idea. I had no idea if Seveya had lied to Yamka or if Yamka had just misunderstood the words Seveya had given her and Yamka had assumed the rest. Whatever the case I told Yamka she was mistaken in what I had said .. what I had meant .. and what my intentions had been and were currently.

She did not press me .. she did not ask me. She told me she was going to go find Seveya and I figured that was best for both of them. I had no desire to manage or control that. Seveya was being held in a kind of limbo and I had no intention of trying to explain that to Yamka. I was having enough trouble understanding it myself and I just wanted to find Ayguili .. who was no where to be found.

I rolled and tucked the story blanket at my side .. my thoughts no less settled when Jaella approached me from where she had been washing out blankets.

And no .. I was not immune to the ironic twist going on.