The Gift of Beauty

Catch is a beautiful woman. A beautiful slave. There is no doubt there. Her physical attributes are the stuff men sing and fight for. I am surrounded by beautiful women .. today I learned Catch is not just a beautiful woman .. she is a beautiful person. There are not so many of those around .. I am feeling rather possessive of this particular one.

She gave me a gift. A gift of hope .. hope in humanity. Not something I have much of. In fact something I was feeling even lower on after the night spent wondering if Seveya would ever recover .. if I would ever have a chance to return her to her place ... selfishly if I would ever get the chance to know who she really was to me personally. I have a small measure more now though .. thanks to Catch.

We spoke today .. Catch and I. While I worked the leather through my fingers and existentially pondered my small universe .. she curled around my leg trying not to interfere too much with my task. A task I did not seem willing to set aside. Mostly because the task was all that kept me from my own temper. Something I am far too easily in touch with most times.

She asked me how Seveya was. I told her I did not know. She was either sleeping or still unconscious. She asked me what happened .. to both of us. I did not understand the question ... I asked her to refine it and reduce it and try again. She said she wanted to know everything .. how I was injured. I had forgotten I had even been injured in those moments .. her question suddenly made sense in my own context. She said she wanted to know why the woman Seveya was deposited in my wagon in a bloody heap of flesh and bone .. and why she appeared as a slave. Either that or a very ravaged mate.

It was easy to figure out where to begin .. I told Catch that Seveya had submitted to me. I told her that Karvek .. by all evidence presented ... seemed to be taking it rather personal and hard. She followed that .. kudos to her for me not having to explain that one in detail because I could not have. Situationally it did not make sense to me yet. Then she asked me if I would ever do that.

Do what? Beat the shit out of someone? Well yes .. yes I have and probably will again. Though I have not laid my hands on any woman since my return .. kudos to me. She specified though .. would I take it so personally if someone in my family submitted to a man? I told her .. of course I would. I would take it personally if Mezoo or Cana submitted. If Asria submitted that would be another vein all together .. but Mezoo and Cana were the type of female family members that I hope applied to this situation. I was still suffering lingering doubts as to Karvek's relationship with his niece but .. for now I would assume it was as innocent as my own with my family. In which case .. yes ... yes I would take it personally. Yes it would hurt me .. personally. All the things I would never be able to share or experience with them. But .. honestly .. I felt the same kind of loss when they were given away as a mate to someone. Granted with Mezoo there was loss of the sharing of Clan .. but mostly the part I would take personally would be .. well ... what I lost. And those things I lose as soon as those women cleave themselves to another man. When they become a possession .. when their priorities shift. When they do not have the time or the inclination of time they once had with me.

As for the slight or offense .. embarrassment? Women are crafted to follow their hearts. If a man did not create a woman .. then I can guarantee it was someone that made women "for" a man. Because she is perfect. She is made to compliment and bolster and lift our egos above the mess of mistakes we make on a regular basis. I believe innate in her is the ability to mold herself once her heart is secured to fit that man in any way he needs that does not destroy her as a person. She is to stand beside or kneel at our feet come what may .. despite us.

If Mezoo found a man who captured her heart in such a way? Of course I would take it personally .. but who am I to dictate to her how she chooses to follow her heart? Had I not all ready suffered some of that loss with Mezoo? She sought the advice and time of another man .. to share those little bright moments of her day with him. It hurts .. that letting go ... but I would have it no other way. When I see them together .. when I see how happy she is and how .. grown up she has become. I am amazed and .. proud.

No .. Mezoo has not submitted to Ayguili .. but there is little else I would suffer if she did. Probably the first shock of seeing her naked. The first time I wished to speak to her of Clan business and I could not. I might selfishly kick the dirt around a little in my own space. But a man does not condition himself to have her forever. To keep her all to myself. To rest all my dreams of the future on her. No I want a woman for myself that I can have and hold and will leave all she was .. for me. Whether that be as my mate or as my slave. Falon and I went rounds about family .. about where I stood in her heart and mind. With Falon .. her family came first and she felt that was how it should be. That is the point where Falon and I took different paths in our relationship. Those paths just never met up again. Understanding how I feel .. I can not judge another man and how he wishes to have that woman .. even my family member ... cleave to him.

If Mezoo submitted to Ayguili .. would I as her family and guardian step in? Hell yes I would. But it would be to protect her. Protect her from Ayguili .. protect her from herself. And then .. make for damn sure she knew what she was doing and this was a choice she was making because she was well informed of her choices. That she would be doing so out of courage .. not fear. Mezoo is not just any free woman .. she is Tuchuk ... she is family. I am possessive and protective of her. But if .. in my findings ... I found that she was of her right mind and this was what she truly wanted .. needed ... to be at his feet .... I would move mountains and bridge rivers to make it happen for her. Smooth her path and give her all the things she wanted and .. more. If it was in my power to do. Even if the things she wanted so badly .. were not me.

And those hurts .. those bouts of temper? Has anyone seen them with Mezoo? With Cana? No. And no one will. Those selfish emotions are locked away behind walls and traps. I can count on one hand the women who have gotten far enough through that maze to kick that chest over and spill the contents. And every time it happens? It just gets harder to find. Catch said she cried when she was hurt. I told her I had wept .. but it just did not seem to do me any good at all. I have screamed my pain at the Sky .. wept my dreams into the soil. Seemed like a lot of wasted energy to me at this point. As I was talking to Catch I got yet one more clue to the missing three years. One more difference in me that I could not completely account for. One more puzzle piece to the end result that might .. with careful calculation ... lead me backwards to the events.

She asked me if it made me angry. Loss of control over the things I am possessive over .. makes me angry. I told Catch I was feeling .. possessive. But this argument between Seveya and her uncle had started before I got involved. Before I had a right to be involved. Now that I held the right to be involved .. if he continued to be bent on destroying what was mine to protect I would of course step in. But if this was the end of it? An ill timed and poorly crafted goodbye .. good luck ... will not see you on the other side ... sort of conversation? I would consider it over and done with and move on.

She gave me that worship look .. the one she gets so often with me that confuses the ever living shit out of me. And she said that she could ask for no better protector and she would do everything she could. Well I did not understand that last bit and I asked her what she meant. She said .. she would do all she could .. all she was allowed to do to protect my property.

huh

That caught my interest. I wanted to cut that apart .. skin it ... and see how it worked. So I asked her .. was she not jealous? Was Seveya .. at this moment ... not invading her personal space as a slave? Was she not threatened? She asked me if I no longer wanted to catch her .. and make sure no one who had caught her ... kept her? I told her .. that would be between her and I. My wants and desires of her. She told me that as long as Seveya did not mean that she no longer had a place with me .. that she was not jealous .. for now. Kudos to her for her honesty with the tag at the end of her sentence. I am starting to like Catch. Not just own her .. possess her ..

... but like her.