Suspended Animation

It was the music that came to me first. Clear defined notes .. I do not know what instrument they originated from ... it was nothing I had heard before. The sound was heavy .. but clear. Weighty like a heartbeat or thunder ... but sharp with clarity so that very little reverberation clouded the purity of the sound. It reminded me of a woman .. singing. Or a small child .. yes I would have to say a child with the ability to reach notes that an adult could never attempt. I felt a pang of memory .. but it was the kind of melancholy that you could taste .. savor on your tongue .. and you were almost thankful for the chance to experience such sadness mixed with longing.

Almost.

I did not wish to know more .. than that melancholy ... I did not wish to remember anything but that sensation. I did not want to remember why I was here .. wherever I was. I wanted only to follow it .. to experience it forever. As it began to drift I fought the reality that started to seep into my conscious .. I reached for the sound taking my first step towards it

... and then I heard a scream of agony cut through everything. A man's scream. A scream of tortured agony .. I knew what that scream meant ... I had caused so many of them.

But I recognized my own voice .. and I finally felt the pain that had inspired such a sound from my own lungs.

It all had happened so slowly. I wondered if it worked like that for those that had fallen beneath my own blade. Had they heard themselves scream before the realization registered in their brain? It was something I wanted to know .. something I would do my best to find out ... later.

For now there was only the pain I felt .. the pain that ripped through my chest and my back .. pain from hooks threaded through my flesh and attached to lines .. lifelines. Lifelines to something I was supposed to be remembering .. something I was supposed to know ... something I had made sure I would not ... be lured away from.

But even then I still pulled against them .. I still wanted to follow that sound that soothed with every infinitesimal slice to my tongue .. even as it lapped at my senses with mind numbing horror ... I could still taste that bursting of bitter wine flamed to life .... and I wanted more.

But it left me .. I wept for it ... longed for it .... ached for it from the depths of my bones as clarity rained on me in soft misty showers.

And I remembered. I remembered through the pain and the longing. I remembered in the cleansing mists. I remembered the dream and what I had learned. I remembered the boiling darkness .. I remembered the Nothing's name that chased the Favored Son of the Sky. I remembered the number of the Nothing's defeat.

But most of all I remembered what it was to fly .. for a few brief moments ... on the wings of sorrow's siren .. the thrall of melancholy's aria .... to taste the blood of my own burning heart upon my tongue and

... I had not had enough.