An Omen..I Can Read

Mezoo spoke about wanting to talk to me .. and when Seveya left us I asked Mezoo what it was she wished to speak to me about. she said we had been speaking previously about several topics. I told her yes .. I realized we had spoken of many subjects but I was wondering which one specifically she wished to speak of .. right now.

she said specifically she wanted to talk about the elements and their relationships to people. That the rest would be things she simply wished to speak to a friend about.

I asked her what about the elements she wished to specifically talk about .. she wanted to know more about the spirit .. or heart that Tarra had mentioned to her. I told her I could not tell her of the heart that Tarra mentioned .. that only Tarra could answer that. It was so specific to every Spex I did not feel comfortable assuming for Tarra. Tarra and I do not communicate that well anyway .. it would just be safer to direct Mezoo back to the source and I had enough respect for Tarra to do so.

She said she wanted to know about all of them .. of the fire .. water .. air and soil. Well this I could talk about .. I could tell her of what they meant to me personally. But before I did .. I wanted to know what she understood. How she saw these things. I wanted to get an idea of the canvas that was set before me before I started painting on it. I wanted to learn the tools I was about to work with. It is my way. But Mezoo .. obviously was not on the same path I was.

She asked me .. "Is it the way of everyone to ask question as answer toquestion?"

This is where I started to get irritated. Not bad yet .. just a hint. Who was I? I was not Mezoo's best friend. I was Mezoo's teacher in the Clan. Were we not speaking of Clan practices? Clan beliefs? Why would she speak this way to her mentor? Did she speak with this kind of disrespect to other Elders? Or was it just .. me. Because I was more than a mentor I was almost family. There must have been some hint of all this in my expression because she suddenly smiled lightly and said .. "Has it always been so difficult to just talk to you or is it only now .. in the past hands that we can find no meeting ground?"

If she was trying to make it better .. she was failing miserably. If she was trying to really upset me .. she was on the fast track. As her mentor however .. it was for me to attempt to contain my temper no matter what I felt.. so I tried to back up and retry .. to find the place where the path got started in the wrong direction and bring it back. "You say you have something you wish to speak on .. I want to speak of this thing .. but you can not tell me what it is. You did not start a conversation with me .. you said youwished to speak of a subject."

"I asked of one particular and you have suggested I speak with Tarra ..."

"But you asked me about Tarra's beliefs .. I can not answer that ... you must ask me about my own."

"I was trying to. It is fine Fonce. I am realizing it would be better towait for what lessons you have to offer."

Once again I was starting to get irritated. "I am attempting to understand Mezoo .. but if you wish to give up I will respect that."

"I am not a person to give up and you know that. Perhaps it is that what we were speaking of before is not yet time ..."

"This is going no where good .. and I am sure it is my fault and I will attempt to fix it ... if I can. Be Well Mezoo."

I strode away .. intent on finding the answers. Intent on not allowing my temper and my feelings of being disrespected to flame to the surface and become out of control before I could even understand what was going on.

I went strait to Orahjinn .. an Elder Spex who I respected more than most. He was trained in many things the same as I .. save the dreams as I was the last of my blood line. I asked him respectively if he would help me with Mezoo. Perhaps I had been too busy with everything and I had missed something vital. Before I reacted I wanted to understand. I did not need to be a Spex to see this was about to go all bad. He agreed to be there .. to be a mediator .. even ... if it was necessary. I really appreciated it .. Orahjinn had given me much of my own training many years ago. He had been the male counterpart to Dubois .. and had been there for me when she died ... in his way.

I hope this is enough to bridge the impasse Mezoo and I have come to.