Tangled Threads

"It does not matter as much that you are right. What matters more .. is how you act when you are."
-me

Now the next day or two is a tangled mess for me. Things I was there for .. things I was not there for that I was told about. Women having .. feelings. And a lot of them. Big feelings ... really large all encompassing feelings that needed some validation or someone was going to get hurt.

And like most times when people have big feelings .. someone did get hurt. Several someones. Big feelings have a way of doing that. They seem so big that it is hard to give someone else any validation through them. Even when big feelings are right .. they tend to overshadow anyone else's feelings. Sometimes especially when big feelings are right .. demanding their own validation first. Which usually leads to someone not getting validated. Or .. more than one someone.

What is even worse is when two big feelings meet .. and both of them are right. Like two tharlarions meeting on a very narrow bridge. Someone is going to have to back up. Big feelings are not that conducive to backing up. Leads to an impasse. And the bigger the feeling? The more it can be hurt.

I know this because .. I have been there. It was not my big feelings that were involved this time .. in any of the cases. But I have been there myself and I know what it is like. I know that desperation that feels like someone is threatening your big feeling .. so you hang onto it even harder. I know what it is like to take that big feeling and use it like a weapon. I have done it. Not something I am proud of. But it is something I will admit to .. especially if I see that admitting to it might help someone else deal with their own big feelings and not feel so ... alone.

Now there were a lot of big feelings going around .. and being still drunk I was wise enough to stay out of most of them. But since my apology did not go over so well with Seveya ... I decided to try again to figure out some meeting of our minds that .. I could work off of. Some foundation that I could at least move forward with. We had just started to talk about big feelings .. and I was sharing this idea I had about them with Seveya ... when Asria had a few of her own big feelings. Big feelings about Seveya's big feelings. And Asria felt that she needed to share her big feelings about Seveya's big feelings and to tell Seveya that her big feelings were all in her head.

Unfortunately .. telling a woman her big feelings are all in her head is a rather bad .. dangerous ... inadvisable thing to do. Ask me .. I will tell you exactly why I have come to that understanding .. that what a woman feels is damned important no matter what it is based on ... and I can show you the scars that taught it to me.

But I digress.

I never did get to share my thoughts about big feelings with Seveya. I am not sure it is even important any more. It sort of just hangs there in the face of Asria's big feelings and denial that Seveya's even should exist at all .. despite the real and tangible fact .. that they do. Proven by the simplistic yet terribly ironic idea that Asria proved beyond a shadow of a doubt that big feelings can be formed on things that do not even have anything to do with you at all. Which only validated that Seveya had every right to have a few big feelings about something that actually was about her in the first place.

Perhaps that is why I do not feel compelled to continue the conversation and get my point across. Asria .. by proving me wrong ... in a way ... proved me more right than I could have proven myself. And Seveya actually took it rather well. Better than I would have. So perhaps she will be just fine with her big feelings.

I spent the rest of the next few days avoiding the women. I have learned that attempting to deal with big feelings is like reaching into a nest of osts to try to untangle them. Chances are .. you are going to find one of the ends ... and with my luck it will be the end with fangs. Better to leave them to untangle themselves.