Responsibilities

The day was warm.. and welcome. The Central Fire spread over my shoulders and I felt the vitality of it. Taking a break I rode to the edge of the herd .. pulling my tunic off over my head and laying it across my thigh. I bathed in the day as I watched the bosk .. giving Rocca a chance to rest. The drop of calves had started before we reached the Southern grass .. and it continued. There were many this year.. it was something I commented on to Ayguili when he rode up. We spoke of family .. then he said he had been wanting to speak to me if I had the time. I told him I always had time for my Ubar .. let alone a man who would be my friend.

He said he had need of me .. if I was ready. He had need of good commanders and from what he knew I was one of the best.

I chuckled and told him I liked to think of myself as not being a bad commander .. but as to whether or not I was ready ... what did he mean.... exactly.

He said he had been told that I stepped down because my family needed me .. and he did not want to intrude on that ... but that my Tribe family also needed me. As Ubar .. he needed me.

I studied him as we spoke. Studied his features .. the tone of his voice. His eyes ... posture .... before I replied and told him that there were other reasons.

He asked me if I would be willing to share what those were. I replied simply .. that Ba'atar and I had not seen eye to eye.

He said .. "I am not Ba'atar."

I nodded, "That is why we are having this conversation." Then I continued .. "If I do not agree .. I want to be able to speak without you thinking I will threaten your position or that I will not .. do as you have ordered in the end if you still feel the same way after you have heard me out. As a warrior I will obey without question .. as a commander it is my duty to question for the sake of my men."

Ayguili went on to say that he was not a babysitter. That he felt that all people have both strengths and weaknesses and the only way to survive was to have open communication. That he felt that people deserved enough respect to have a say in how they were led.

I nodded .. I agreed and contributed that there was a difference in questioning and disobeying.

He said he did not want blind obedience .. I told him I would fight to the death for his right to be wrong .. as long as I had the right to be correct.

He asked me then if I would return as commander. I told him I would. I asked him what position he wished me to take. There are three commanders. Or .. Orlu .. and Oralu. But he surprised me .. he told me he wished me to take second in command. I showed this surprise .. and I asked him to tell me why. He replied that first and foremost he trusted me .. and he wanted to surround himself with those he trusted and could rely on. He also said that since I had walked this path .. he hoped I would be there to not allow him to fall on his face too often. I had to chuckle. Ayguili was older than I was but I did understand the newness of the position he found himself in. I told him I would do my best and I could at least warn him of the holes I had found.

He asked me then if I would indeed take the position as second in command. I told him he had yet to give me any reason not to do as he asked of me .. but that aside from that ... it was an honor.

I then felt I should tell him .. be strait with him on a point. I told him that if he ever used me as a tool against another person .. that I would step down again. He reminded me that he was not Ba'atar. I told him this was not about him being Ba'atar .. that telling him that was simply knowledge and if he had that knowledge he would not make that mistake out of ignorance. If he ever did what I spoke of .. there would be this understanding between us and he would know why I stepped down.

Ayguili asked me .. while we were on the subject of positions ... if I would consider taking head of Clan. I told Ayguili that the same thing applied to that position as it did to the Second in command. I told the Ubar I was not interested in shoving my opinions or my will down anyone's throat. But that anyone would play hell trying to get me to bend my knee to them as well. That there was no one under this Sky that could make me. Not anyone in my Clan .. not Ba'atar .. and not him.

He smiled. Which was rare and a little unnerving in itself. He told me that those were the exact words he wanted to hear. I told him that as a Tuchuk warrior if I believed in my Ubar I would follow him to certain death .. sometimes even if I did not believe in him ... as long as it did not compromise my pride or what I believed in as a man.

He told me that he hoped to instill my belief in him .. through his actions and decisions. Then he added that for some reason he could not see me submitting much of anything at all to another. This caused a wide grin to him.

I told Ayguili that the positions he had asked of me demanded my loyalty. But neither position demanded my opinions or thoughts. These were gifts given to those that valued them. That as a commander .. I would speak for my men ... even against him. That they had a right to be heard at least.

We spoke of ideas. Ayguili has good ideas. They are meaty and rich ... like a good bosk steak they feed me. I like people with ideas .. with open minds. It gives me a chance to learn. Learning reminds me I am alive. Ayguili likes my ideas .. he allows me to share them. To contribute. To feel as if I am able to give something. Between two men we place a banquet of ideas upon a table and we set aside some and take others to digest and make a part of us.