Those Words That Bind

I was strolling along the stream .. thoughts from the night before and others all jostling around inside my skull ... leaving great bloody fingernail scrapes along the sides.

Tarra had been wading and Yamka was just arriving. I paused to talk to them and Tarra and I shared some ideas about deep thoughts and abysses. Somewhere in there I noticed the bruise on Yamka's face and I asked her about it. She said she had a run in with a large hand.

huh

Tarra asked .. "Someone hit you?" While I asked .. "Who hit you?" right about the same time.

I put it all together .. "So .. someone hit you ... who?" She said it was her father .. and that he regretted it as soon as he did it.

I asked her .. if he did not realize that she was under the protection of the Ubar now .. as one of the First Fires? She said she figured her father lost himself for a moment .. that he was not angry with her ... but at something they were talking about ... and yes he knew. I assumed she meant ... yes he knew about the Ubar's protection.

If he did .. he was a dangerously foolish man. I asked if Ayguili knew.

She said .. "No and I would rather no one told him... please... its so very complicated.. its over with.. and my father said he was sorry..".

I leaned back where I was sitting on the grass .. resting on my elbows before I spoke again. "Are you not .. basically ... the responsibility of the Ubar? "Does he not set your bride price and direct your mating? Protect you as one of his family? You are wearing .. the testament of someone's displeasure for all to see .. why would you keep that from him?"

I said this quite calmly .. understanding that Yamka was upset ... but there was no way I was going to lie to the Ubar. And if there ever was some maggot in my brain that dictated to me that I should do so? I certainly would never talk about it out loud at the stream. I had visited enough people from behind the mask .. I knew better. Not to mention .. who would trust my word again?

Yamka said that .. the reason she did not want the Ubar to know was .. that the entire thing happened because her father was mad at Ayguili .. indirection as he did not know .. that is who he was mad at. My jaw muscle started to tick here .. but all I allowed myself to say was .. "All the more reason for him and Ay to go at it and get it straitened out so that you are not the outlet for your father's anger."

She told her father that it was just an outrider .. no one important. As if any warrior is not important in this Tribe... but I let that one go and narrowed in on the fact she lied to her father and mother. I asked her directly .. "So you lied to your father and mother? Just as you are planning on keeping this violence done to your face and the truth of it from the Ubar himself? And .. you expect me ... to agree to be part of this lie... by not telling Ayguili the truth?"

"I don't see a choice.. How do you tell your father that the Ubar did not think you worthy enough to get to know.. and then how do you tell the Ubar your father hit you cause he did not think you worthy enough.. I don't expect you to agree.. its wrong in all aspects.. but I honestly do not know which way to move.."

huh

"You tell your mother and father that Ayguili wanted to be your friend .. there is no dishonor in that. And you tell Ayguili that your father hit you .. because he did. And you let Ayguili and your father talk as men because obviously there is a problem there and it is showing up in the damage to your face."

"So you want me to tell my father it was the ubar that made my heart sing.. and then tell the Ubar because he made my heart sing but I did not make his.. I got hit?"

Was she serious?

I gave her a bemused glance. "I want you to be honest with your father and your mother because they deserve that respect from their daughter. And I want you to be honest with the Ubar because .. he deserves your respect also. You can not go around with these lies and retain your own honor. You are sitting here telling me you are involved in lies to the most important authority figures in your life. There is no good way for that to end Yamka .. you can not carry these burdens ... they are not yours to try to shoulder."

"You are right... regardless of the outcome I will tell them all the truth of the matter.."

I was more relieved by that last statement than I could express properly. But I did try to tell her how much I was. She was a Tuchuk free woman .. surely she understood the importance of her word. Surely she understood the weight of these matters we were throwing around at the stream in front of everyone. To be trustworthy was one of those important facets of being a free woman. At least in my book and any man's book I know of.

I told her that she was not a bad person .. but I was trying to catch her before this went really wrong. I told her she did owe her parents an apology. I hope this is the last time Yamka thinks lying is a viable solution to her problems. I hope she listened .. and never ties herself up with her own false words again.