A Tale of Two Larls

I told Cana what we were speaking of. Jealousy. She had her own opinions and examples .. she spoke of feeling jealousy over Ba'atar and losing her temper and striking a woman ... and then she told us a story. Well.. she told me ... a story. Yamka engaged Seveya in a conversation. But I wanted to hear Cana. I wanted to hear her story .. this was my subject ... the one I wanted to explore ... not anyone else's and I understood if they did not have the same drive to listen understand that I did.

Cana began with the tale of two larls. In a mortal combat. "One larl represents fear, anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego. The other stands for joy, peace, love, hope, sharing, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, friendship, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith."

Well .. there was my problem in the proverbial nutshell.

I do not have two larls. I only have one. I have only had one since that night when I was three years old. If I starve one .. I die. If I feed one ... I feed them both. I do not know how to separate them now .. .they are too much one being. They are amalgamated .. fused ... one within the other so tightly there are no longer any seams or stitches. They are one. They will always be one. It is who I am .. and who I will be.

Cana told me .. I had to figure out which one I wanted to win .. and that was the one I needed to feed. She told me the night she hit the woman .. that she had fed the wrong larl. I had to disagree .. in my opinion

.... she just hit the wrong person.