Plains of a Thousand Stakes

The Love Wars. They have never been a thing of high interest for me. Obviously since I have rarely spoken about them or told stories of them. They simply are. They are .. like hunting down tabuk is. Or slaughtering a bosk .. is. It ... just is. They ... just are.

I know why they exist. I think of them as a War to make Peace. It is a logical and precise way of taming the chaos and meeting Turia with skill and force and ... both of us survive. War is not an exact science. It is not something to rely on or to count on. It can leave you vulnerable and with the luck of the wind ... can leave you dead. So .. I see this is a great way to reduce the overall destruction and still retain that show of force so needed in maintaining any sort of peace. At least with warring sorts of men .. which we are. And besides .. the prizes could not be any lovelier. Though I have yet to meet a prize that I did not sell or give away. Obviously I have won several since I am still alive. And yet the women involved did not register for long on my conscious. At least after I raped them and got to the part where I tried to talk to them. Obviously .. the talking part was not interesting enough to remember well.

I do not know if it was the intense conversation that lasted most of the day with Seveya .. or if I was just not in the mood. But none of the women attracted me at the stakes .. not one. I usually do not have trouble finding something .. someone to fight for. Some bit of female flesh that tempts me and brings out that testosterone fueled instinct to kill and win and take for my own. Yet .. I could not. Nothing inspired me. Was this some kind of apathetic backlash from the emotional twisting I had just experienced? Was there actually not one Turian bit of virginity that could tempt me as a man to lift weapon in hand and test my strength and will upon another? Usually that appealed to me so .. easily. Not this day. I was .. uninspired. More than usual. Surely some sort of teasing .. a bit of flesh ... when was I not in the mood to rape some girl for the sake of rape ... emotions be damned? Most times such an easy sell for me. Most men. And yet .. nothing. Not one of them did I want to fuck .. let alone fight to fuck. Were the Turian women so .. lacking inspiration ... or was it me?

Where was my support in the entire process of the Love Wars? Where was my patriotism ... my Tuchuk spirit. The hoorah .. the slapping of lance against my shield. The building of blood in the vein until it sings of glory and honor .. pounding in my skull.

I felt nothing. I walked the entire line of stakes .. that takes a while. Still ... nothing.

I was going to need a lot of paga tonight. Somewhere I had to find that spirit in me that would not only ensure my participation in something I believed in but ... would also ensure that I might survive it.

Survival .. was rather high on my list of things to do.

I think.