The Most Powerful Force

So there I was miserably lamenting my lack of inspiration.

ZOT

Leave it to the Sky to help me out with that.

Lightning meet Fonce's copper lance. Well met .. but do you think we could stop meeting like this?

And there was not even a beautiful woman promising great reluctant pleasure.

huh .. figures

I was standing at the stake looking across at Cream .. who was not bad to look at actually. Standing near .. some Turian I do not remember her name. Not bad to look at .. but certainly did not inspire great deeds in me. In fact .. the way her stake was decorated got more attention from me than she did. I found it odd and intriguing at the same time. I had never seen a stake decorated like that .. and then ... someone got my attention.

It was not a woman.

No indeed .. it was a man. Could have been Turian .. he was dark like a Turian but dressed like an Arian. It was the way he was dressed that drew my attention at first .. then I recognized him. Which is using that word "recognize" far too loosely. I knew him .. but I did not know how I knew him. I knew I did not like him .. I knew I recognized him from the three years I was missing .. but I did not know why. I did not know where .. or how. I simply knew .. him. And everything I knew made me very ... very angry.

I had just been speaking to Seveya about the idea of revenge. How powerful .. vengeance ... can be. I left the stake .. and followed him. There was no other thought in my mind. There was not anyone or anything that would have gotten in my way. There is no voice or reason or logic that I would have listened to. I would have cut down .. destroyed ... anyone who even tried to get in my way. Anyone.

There was only .. him. There was only .. what I was going to do to him. There was only ... the answers I wanted from him. There was only ... anger. Anger flavored by every other negative emotion and it built up in me like a raging flood and reached every part of my brain and will .. tainting it ... taking it over and using it to get what I wanted. Him.

It must have been written all over my face. Tao and Ogedaii fell in behind me .. I did not see them. I did not know they were there. The only reason I know now is that I was told. No one else seemed to notice .. only that I was not around. No one else saw the intense hatred as I left .. no one realized how intent I was. No one but Ogedaii and Tao. Fucking little observant Tuchuks. I want to kick both their asses .. yet I am faced with the fact they saved my life. Again.

figures

There were three of them .. at some point the man must have realized I was following him .. I was not making any large secret of the fact I was. I was going to kill him and I did not care who knew. Especially him. Seemed fair enough .. for him to know his end was near. He led me right into two others .. around the corner of a merchant stall .. they were waiting for me. I still did not care .. went strait for the man I knew .. and he came strait for me. I know I would have died .. I know I was not in my right mind and in no shape to take on three at once .. not as angry as I was. Not as hell bent on revenge .. as I was. Tao and Ogedaii saved my life .. then ... and later.

I do not remember most of the fight .. but unlike Serge ... there was only one death in my focus ... no one else's. When it was over .. he was dead. Dead several times if Ogedaii and Tao are correct in the retelling of it. Seems I wanted to make sure .. and sure ... and then sure some more. Which .. is not really what I wanted. Not in entirety. I wanted some answers .. but I could not see through my own anger long enough to get them. I could not stop .. the desire to kill ... enough to give me what I actually really wanted. Which was some idea .. some trail of clues ... something to start me on my way to understanding and knowing about those three years. I had lost an awful lot here in the Tuchuk .. in my life .. for those three years. Someone .. owed me ... a lot. I meant to collect. I collected all over this man .. but I never got my answers.

I remember .. that I killed him. I remember .. that I was sure he killed me. I felt it. I know the injury .. I have seen it happen enough times. It was not the shoulder .. it was not my leg ... the one that I thought did me in. It was the one right through my stomach. I have seen men die of gut wounds. They live for hours .. sometimes days. But the end is inevitable.

When I woke in Ogedaii's wagon .. I was a little surprised to be alive still .. but not hopeful that I would remain so. Ogedaii and Tao .. with my directive ... stole medical supplies from some of the supply wagons. I have no idea from whom .. or where. I did not want anyone to know where I was .. how bad I was. I wanted to wait and find out if I was going to live. But Ogedaii's bitch seemed to know what she was doing. She is a lot nicer .. than she used to be. Ogedaii seems to have ... touched her.

By the look of her .. he touches her a lot.

But she knows her healing ways .. she said she was a Healer with the Kataii before she was stolen and bought by the traveling entertainers. The ones that dressed her up as if she was a cannibal from the jungle .. simply because of the darkness of her skin. She told me the red ribbon saved my life. That it had caught and the blade had shoved it through my guts .. instead of slicing through them. Though she made me drink the nastiest concoction smelling of peppermint .. or some kind of mint. She told me it would tell her .. things. She could have been a Spex .. or a Black Mask. At the time it could have gone either way for me. Healing .. torture.

I spent a lot of time with the bitch in Ogedaii's wagon. I had a lot of time to think about things. About death. I had no idea if I would live through the next couple of days. I doubted it in fact. I thought a lot about Silken and Asria and Seveya. About those in my care .. about those that depended on me. About those I cared about. About those I missed. All those .. before death thoughts ... that usually we do not have time to think about. And I seemed to have all the time in the world just for that. I put everything in order .. in my head. I gave Ogedaii and Tao all the instructions .. in case I died. Told them messages for each person. What to do with all my possessions .. slaves ... bosk ... wagons ... stuff. And then I .. waited ... to die.

About the third day I realized I was going to live.

figures