Lost .. Without Color

Despite my excellent mood all day yesterday I am still plagued by dreams at night. I moved pink to my slave wagon .. I have seen the aftermath of some of my dreams .. she should be safe enough there for now. At least until the worst of it passes again.

Last night was no different .. save when I reached the desert it actually appeared different. The color was gone. The Sky painted in shades of gray .. the sand was white and appeared more like clouds over water on a dreary day. Not only was I left with that distinct upside down sensation but .. I felt pale and weak .. transparent.

I wandered longer this time before I found anyone. Lost among the shades of no color. Easing through shadows that did not seem real enough to be shadows .. more like ... shadows of shadows. Some kind of watered down .. copied too many times ... and bleached reflection of a world.

I came upon a boy who played with a toy wagon .. oddly enough the wagon was painted red .. and I could see the color. It was a boy I had never seen in the desert before. Though his dark hair and dark eyes felt familiar to me. I called to him.

"I do not remember you being here .. in the desert."

"I am not from the desert." The boy replied.

"Why are you here then? This is not the kind of place to visit."

"I am hiding here."

"But whom are you hiding from? This is a dangerous place .. why would you choose to hide here?" Even as I queried I glanced around .. feeling protective of the small boy and knowing first hand the terrible beasts that roamed and devoured things in the desert.

"It is easier to hide among many enemies than it is to hide among many friends." He replied.

I had to think about that for several moments .. studying the small boy before I spoke again. "You are very brave."

"I have no choice. I want to live. He will change me if he can. But I like the way I am now and I do not want to be like him."

"You look a little like him."

"It happened before I was able to make it to the desert. But the change stopped as soon as I entered."

"It is lonely here .. how will you survive?"

"I am not afraid to be alone. Will you come and talk to me?"

I opened my mouth to ask a question .. but instead I spoke .. "I can not always find my way here in the desert. I can not always choose who I speak to here."

"I will find you if you want me to. Will you protect me?"

I was shocked. "Me? What can I do? I fight .. but never gain any ground. I struggle .. but to what end? I am tormented .. but for whom?" But despite my protests .. my inability to understand why he would ask such a thing of me ... the look in his eyes caused this sense to rise up in me. This need to protect .. and I said to him. "I will .. I will do this. I will protect you."

The boy smiled at me and nodded.

The battle last night was much the same as always. The beasts were just as horrific and the blood was just as real. The pain was no different. However when I woke in the morning covered in sweat and my muscles screaming with hard use .. I felt a sense of accomplishment. In one small promise given .. I felt that perhaps .. just perhaps ... there was reason to it all.