A Different Kind of .. Comfort

Her name is sumki. A slave girl. One I have known of but never spent much time with. I know the man she is in love with. I have seen her beg him with her body .. her eyes ... her words. He does not see her .. or chooses not to ... I do not know which.

She has never sought me out .. tonight I chose to find my solace in her.

She had come to the fire begging to be raped .. he took another ... his favored.

Tonight I called her to me for the first time. There was a meeting of understanding in our eyes. We both knew it was not each other we wanted to be with. We both knew it was not a coupling of knowledge or love. It was sex .. for the sake of sex. Fucking for the sake of blood .. sweat ... exchange of body fluids and exhaustion.

And that was all right.

We both challenged and pushed each other to our limits. Daring the other to give up first. Wagering with our bodies on which one of us could withstand the physical impact over time. Sadism meeting masochism in a fevered .. frenzied and macabre dance. Her appetite seemed endless .. meeting my directives each time without hesitation as if she thought of them first and merely waited for me to catch up. I know this is not true .. but she made it feel seamless and practiced ... the perfect accompaniment to a few of my more base desires.

What made me seek the exact opposite of what I wanted so badly? Some kind of denial? Shaking up my expectations so I was not disappointed? Falling into myself so hard I inverted on the other side?

I do not know .. I do not have the introspective answers butchered and flayed out in their respective pieces for examination.

I do know there is a certain comfort in time spent with someone that seeks only a brief respite from unrequited feelings. The moments of setting aside emotion and letting the physical become priority. When the release of adrenaline and endorphins bring two people together without a lot of relationship mist to get in the way.

It is not perhaps the best comfort that exists in life .. it is rather a different sort of comfort.