I was making my way towards my wagons when I saw Yamka leaving down the steps. Now .. I double checked to make sure it was my wagon ... just because well .. seemed like a good idea.
It was. I waited for her to explain and she gave me a gift of a brightly colored silk butterfly sewn onto leather. She said she had thought about the things she had said to me. Specifically how it did not matter if she liked her mate. She said she had changed her mind. That it did matter. That she would attempt to make her mate happy no matter what .. but she would rather be with someone she actually cared for .. actually cared for her.
Well this was all new thinking for Yamka .. I found it interesting she had come to these conclusions. I wondered what all had impacted her .. to work on her thoughts and make her change her mind.
Yamka .. though she is not that young ... is very innocent. She shocks me sometimes with her naivety. It is not that I find it unattractive .. or wrong in any way. But sometimes it can be rather daunting when faced with child like understanding.
She said the butterfly was to her a symbol of freedom. That a butterfly that is caught and loses its freedom does not live very long afterwards.
She asked me my opinion .. well she asked me a question and I made sure she actually wished my opinion. So many people ask me questions they really do not wish the answer for .. but Yamka said she really wished to know my opinion so I told her.
I told her I had no desire to mate a woman I did not know .. had less of a desire to take as my mate a woman I did not like. I am too selfish a man .. too egotistical ... too arrogant. I wish to be understood.
But I told her that was not the opinion of everyone. That many men had no such desire and existed quite well without it.
She said she had seen I was different. I asked her if she meant because I wished to be understood? She answered me .. that I had a soul. I told her I did not know what she meant by that .. but I wished to know.
She said to me "You hurt.. I think somewhere someone has hurt you a great deal and so now you care.. Your soul is ancient and deep.. Only from what I have observed from you..So nothing you give is given carelessly.. its thought out.. and measured.. and then given."
huh
I was surprised. Impressed even. That was a lot to say about someone you have only seen a couple of times around the main fires. I was suspicious .. but there did not seem to be any negative purpose or intent. I thanked her for her words and for the butterfly .. for what it symbolized to her. It was a thoughtful gift.
She said she had noticed that whenever a woman talked to me other women's tongues wagged. I had to snort. That usually happened to any single warrior at the fires and would continue to do so as long as there was nothing more interesting to gossip about. I told her as she grew in experience and knowledge the things she liked .. looked for would grow and expand as well. She said she knew what she wanted ... I had to ask ... all ready?
Damn .. I still was figuring that out and I had one hell of a lot more experience than she did.
She told me what she her ideas were .. and they were simple but well thought out. I had much more specific ideas .. very specific. But they were forged over time and experience. Refined and detailed by heartache.
And I had never even gotten the whole mating thing off the ground yet.
It was. I waited for her to explain and she gave me a gift of a brightly colored silk butterfly sewn onto leather. She said she had thought about the things she had said to me. Specifically how it did not matter if she liked her mate. She said she had changed her mind. That it did matter. That she would attempt to make her mate happy no matter what .. but she would rather be with someone she actually cared for .. actually cared for her.
Well this was all new thinking for Yamka .. I found it interesting she had come to these conclusions. I wondered what all had impacted her .. to work on her thoughts and make her change her mind.
Yamka .. though she is not that young ... is very innocent. She shocks me sometimes with her naivety. It is not that I find it unattractive .. or wrong in any way. But sometimes it can be rather daunting when faced with child like understanding.
She said the butterfly was to her a symbol of freedom. That a butterfly that is caught and loses its freedom does not live very long afterwards.
She asked me my opinion .. well she asked me a question and I made sure she actually wished my opinion. So many people ask me questions they really do not wish the answer for .. but Yamka said she really wished to know my opinion so I told her.
I told her I had no desire to mate a woman I did not know .. had less of a desire to take as my mate a woman I did not like. I am too selfish a man .. too egotistical ... too arrogant. I wish to be understood.
But I told her that was not the opinion of everyone. That many men had no such desire and existed quite well without it.
She said she had seen I was different. I asked her if she meant because I wished to be understood? She answered me .. that I had a soul. I told her I did not know what she meant by that .. but I wished to know.
She said to me "You hurt.. I think somewhere someone has hurt you a great deal and so now you care.. Your soul is ancient and deep.. Only from what I have observed from you..So nothing you give is given carelessly.. its thought out.. and measured.. and then given."
huh
I was surprised. Impressed even. That was a lot to say about someone you have only seen a couple of times around the main fires. I was suspicious .. but there did not seem to be any negative purpose or intent. I thanked her for her words and for the butterfly .. for what it symbolized to her. It was a thoughtful gift.
She said she had noticed that whenever a woman talked to me other women's tongues wagged. I had to snort. That usually happened to any single warrior at the fires and would continue to do so as long as there was nothing more interesting to gossip about. I told her as she grew in experience and knowledge the things she liked .. looked for would grow and expand as well. She said she knew what she wanted ... I had to ask ... all ready?
Damn .. I still was figuring that out and I had one hell of a lot more experience than she did.
She told me what she her ideas were .. and they were simple but well thought out. I had much more specific ideas .. very specific. But they were forged over time and experience. Refined and detailed by heartache.
And I had never even gotten the whole mating thing off the ground yet.
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