Colors of a Slave

My slave.

huh

Been awhile since I have said that about any female. Yet I allow this one the freedom of sleeping with me. From the beginning. I am not sure why.

I have spent less time with her awake .. I wonder if it is a natural whiplash reaction to having her close to me while I sleep. A vulnerable time for me. Sometimes I wish it was easier to allow people to get close. Other times I do everything in my power to keep them at a safe distance. Loneliness has questioned my independence. A new one on me.

She made a quilt. Perhaps that is what she was working on the other night that she hid from me. I have not spoken of it. I do not know what to say. That it is used .. says a lot. But I do not know if she is astute enough to realize that. Perhaps I test her.

I watch .. more than she knows. I know .. more than she imagines. I have seen the way the plains .. the life ... the Tuchuk have begun their magic on her. Opening up her mind as well as her eyes. Instead of shrinking and hiding from it .. she has begun to stretch. She does not seem to need the cage to live .. like a dweller remaining incased in a cocoon afraid of the vast emptiness on the outside. She is looking up .. and out. That pleases me. She might survive here.

That is worth more to me than the gifts she crafts. In her attempts to impress me she is a good and capable slave. The quality of a person .. the value to me ... is much more about the ability and the drive to survive. To take what life shows you and attempt to see it for what it is and then step on it ... make it your own by applying your understanding to it ... as you move on to the next plateau.

As of yet .. she has not allowed herself to become lost in her own head in an attempt to deal with this new lot in life that Destiny has thrown her way. She has separated her own need to be impacted .. her own need to feel the trauma with an even more real need to function. She has thrown herself into survival and allowed the other to simmer on the side. Because she has done that .. because I have not had to deal with her injured mind ... because she has had food and warmth and a fire waiting for me every night without the lash inspiring her ... I will help her with the trauma when it is time.

For now .. it is my pleasure to watch this big wide world impact her and to see how she responds to it.