Forbidden Fruit

Silken had left a word for me. A couple of them in fact. A couple of words that I felt should be addressed and so I took that haunch of meat I had cut for her and her family to Shi and her wagons .. she was not there so I went to the Healer's fires. It was there I found her .. or a shell of her. She did not look even as good as when I first returned. I can not begin to imagine the journeys and paths she is having to walk inside her right now. Well I suppose they are no different than all of us .. but she seems destined to walk a harder road than most. At least at the moment.

We spoke of many things. Silken has always been a friend though I do not know her well. We have not always agreed on things and when Silken disagrees she disagrees with thunder and lightning and fire. Passionate indeed. But I do feel she always listened when I could actually corner her long enough to explain myself and why I did things the way I did. It is something I always valued in her .. not only her passion but her willingness to at least listen even when she was mad enough at me to chew through an axle. And with Silken you usually know where you stand with her. She does not pretend to like people like some .. she is rather obvious which gets her in a lot of trouble because like all of us we like people sometimes and sometimes we are angry with them. She just has no ability to hold her tongue about it. Makes her one of the people I trust. Not because I think she will always be there for me .. but by the Sky if she is not I sure will know about it and see her coming. There are some I can not say that about.

She told me she had once had feelings for me. Back in the day. It surprised me some. When I came to the First Wagons Silken was mated to Jerus. I never saw her much and I know she did not think much of me back then. I got to know her a little more when I was Ubar. I got to see some of her opinions as they blossomed in her temper. She has red hair for a reason. I helped with her separation from Shi and watched her growing close to ... I can not remember his name at the moment. A sign of my age I suppose. Anyway my point was that Silken was always someone that was with someone else. I have always admired her fire .. her passion ... even her sexuality. But I have never looked at Silken in any kind of personal way .. involving me. Not only because most of the time Silken did not like me .. but because she was always forbidden fruit. Something that belonged to someone else.

She still is.

And though I will admire her for her honesty when it comes to how she feels about people .. and I will appreciate her as an attractive passionate woman ... I refuse to think about her as anything other than Shi's mate. His woman .. his possession. Whether or not he possesses is none of my business other than as an ear to a friend. Right now Silken needs my friendship and that is exactly what I have to offer her.