I can not seem to .. think

This morning .. or I should say afternoon ... I woke with my head all stuffed full of mist. But my water bota and my bowl of stew were still with me. I must have just fallen on my face and passed out. I rolled over and found my jar of honey. Things were looking up.

The water tastes good .. it is cool and clear and eases my throat ... soaking into my tongue so it does not feel like a thick stick in my mouth. The stew is congealed and the fat is a waxy cover but I do not mind .. it seems forever since I tasted anything so good.

My hair is hard matted with blood and dirt .. I need a bath. But I woke in the cold .. shivering as I pulled my furs around me and started the fire in the bowl. I can tell by the feel of my wagon that no one has been in it for some time. It feels like it has been a long time .. a really long time ... but it could not be that long.

If I could just clear this mist from my head. If I could just think .. I know all this would make some sense to me. It seems a great task just to drink a little water and swallow a little stew. I need a bath .. I keep coming back to that but I am still cold through and a dip in the stream is just not something I am all that motivated to do.

The light from the small fire is a comfort .. it seems to chase the worst of the shadows from my wagon. Warding off some of the cold that seems to have gripped me from the inside out. As I reach to put another chip into the coals I am caught staring at my hand .. it does not seem to be my hand. It is strange looking to me .. so broken and raw. Covered in a crusty shell of bloody mud. I suppose that is what I look like all over.

If I could just pull my thoughts together. I know that I would not be so confused. I know that I would understand why my wagon is empty. I know that I would understand why T'zuri is not here to greet me. I know that I would understand why I feel the way I do. I know that I would understand it all .. that it would all finally make sense and .. it would be all right again. I know there is some simple explanation for everything ... I just can not seem to figure it out.

I curled up in my fur as close to the fire as I could get and let my tired eyes close again. Perhaps when I wake up the mists will clear. My thoughts will be mine again. Everything will make sense as it should.